Everyone I speak to who is working with, or parenting, children is aware of the rising volume of children in psychological distress. In 2018 BBC’s Panorama reported that the waiting list for children’s mental health support meant that difficulties which are left unresolved can escalate into a psychological crisis, in which children would need to be sectioned in hospital for their own protection. Would it surprise you to know that in the last year 40,000 children experienced a wait of over two years?
Statistics for child mental health support today establish that more than a quarter of a million children and young people are still waiting for mental health support after being referred to Children and Young People’s Mental Health Services. In a 2022-23 report nearly one million children and young people – 942,200 – were referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health services.
Does it seem reasonable to suggest that these more extreme cases are really just the tip of the iceberg?
Many years ago I realised that if we think of our children’s mental health as something to delegate to someone else we put our children at risk by not taking the action we could take ourselves. Most of the requests for assistance are from people who have been reluctant to identify what can be done better until the problem has become too severe to ignore. It’s easier for many parents to think ‘my child has a problem’ than it is for them to think ‘how can I transform my parenting to enhance my child’s experience of daily life?’
Most of the parents who I speak with refer to reasons why it would be useful to enhance their child’s ability to deal with their education, their friendship groups and their confidence levels more effectively. There is an immense amount which all of us can do to prepare our children for a productive, happy and worthwhile life.
It is in our formative years that our paradigms (unconscious mindsets) are laid down for life. As someone who was once a child themselves you can probably relate to the effort you have had to changing some of your psychological habits for the better. Wouldn’t we be wiser to pay more attention to how we develop our children’s paradigms whilst they are still growing up?
Most of us have experienced parenting which we think of as improvable, and many parents make the decision “I won’t do it like that when I have children!” but many parents who approach me say that quite understandably they don’t have a viable alternative to their current parenting because they didn’t get the relevant experience when they were children themselves.
If you are someone who would like to take a more conscious and purposeful approach to learning how you yourself can contribute to the development of your child’s mental strength why not join a pro bono ‘Build Your Child a Stronger Mind’ talk which will teach you how to develop your child’s paradigm in such a way that they are well equipped for life?
